(E) If you fear your love has died, perhaps it is waiting to be transformed into something higher

If you fear your love has died, perhaps it is waiting to be transformed into something higher

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” --Tom Wilson

You have done it again! Yes, the very same thing you have been afraid of even imagining in your wildest dreams, the one you have been avoiding, you are going through it again. You have fallen into the same old trap. Now you are here sitting. Alone. All alone. There is anger, upset, frustration, denial, hurt inside of you, deep sadness cuts your throat in half. Tears may even fall down your face.

Whose fault is it this time? Mine or his? Should have I done this or that? Should have I said this or that? You may be repeating and asking these questions over and over again…. yet no answers are coming back! Heck.

Why did he do this to me? Cannot he accept me for who I am? Am I being too judgemental? Am I being too nice? Am I being too kind? Am I just not made for being in a relationship at all? Am I not destined for an eternal happiness?

Urghhhh….. your face tightens, your head falls down again on your pillow.

The same story, the same characters, the same plot, the same main role – you!

You have known him for 8+ months, great and soul connection there is, sparkles all over, conversations flow easily in a non-demanding way, you stimulate each other in every way imaginable and unimaginable…. And yet you are still single, with no sign of him whatsoever!!

Have you been repeating the same pattern?

Have you been running the same vicious cycle?

Could this possibly hurt just a little less?

You begin to swear, even though you are not ‘that kind of person’ and have never been. Is this being biased? If not, than you don’t really know what it is.

Damn.

Heck.

F*ck.

Sh*t.

Hell.

The songs, the photos, the lyrics, the words, the memories, the deep moments, the favourite expressions of you two, all the embraces, the ‘Xs’ at the end of text messages. All this is anchored deep in your core now. How can you possibly erase it all at once? How could you possibly press the ‘DELETE’ button to make it all vanish from the face of the earth?!?

He has been after you for such a long time now. He has been asking you out. You have pushed his hot buttons. You have turned his invitations down on countless occasions. Yet, he was still there. Waiting. And then, one day, you have made up your mind and accepted one of his zillions’ offer to go on a date with him. He has lost the drive by then, also. Maybe he has been seeing someone? He may have even told you he had.

You both met up though, enjoyed one another’s company, going for a drive and kissed in the car. He was passionate. He was passionate with you. Just the thought of you being around, just touching your hand, just the thought of you sitting next to him, just holding you close to his body run shivers down his spine. You, of course, were reluctant at first. You hesitated perhaps for a while then slowly let go of the silly feeling and… and enjoyed the entire experience tremendously.

And now…. Now you yearn for him. You long for him. You want him to hold you, you want him to kiss you again, you want to feel him, you want to be around him today and tomorrow, too, if possible. And even worse, you feel, you still sense his presence, you feel he feels the same, he may even be experiencing the same, going through the very same as you are now.

Damn. There must be a deeper meaning, the explanation to it all.

You. Are. Still. Waiting.

Anyway.

But not anymore. Because you have just made your point. You have just made up your mind. It is over. Period. This article of mine or yours or whoever’s clearly states that and closes one of the many chapters of mine or yours or whoever’s. Your tears have gone dry by now. I am over you. You are over him. Time to move on.

Time. To. Move. On.

NEXT PLEASE!!

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………............

At times when it seems as though love is not coming, when we are not getting enough of it or for heaven’s sake we are getting none, nothing at all, nada, zero, zilch, … we may feel frustration, we may be depressed, we may feel discouraged, we may want to give up and call it quits, we may feel sad, we may feel upset, we may feel angry, we may be at wits ends, we may feel alone and lonely, we may crave courage, we are in desperate need of hope, a bit of faith, our believes have been shattered, stepped upon and spat on, and no one seems to get us, to understand us, to help us in some way, to offer a helping hand, just a piece of advice, a listening ear, just a simple – innocent - grateful - human touch, something, anything, at all.

Our soul already knows.

Our heart already knows.

Our body already feels.

Our mind tries to comprehend.

Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.

And maybe, just maybe, you are being so loved right now, that you have been given another chance, another lesson to learn, another chapter of your story to read up on, another cup to drink from.

And maybe, just maybe, your love is just waiting to be transformed into something higher.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Rumi