(Art. #3) because love means never having to say you are sorry.

because love means never having to say
you are sorry.

"I want to both combat you and submit to you, because as a woman I adore
your courage, I adore the pain it engenders, I adore the struggle you carry in
yourself, which I alone fully realize, I adore your terrifying sincerity. I adore
your strength." ~ Anaïs Nin to Henry Miller
push-pull. push-pull. push-pull. push-pull. push-pull. push-pull. push-pull. push-pull. push-pull.
give-take. give-take. give-take. give-take. give-take. give-take. give-take. give-take. give-take.
laugh-cry. laugh-cry. laugh-cry. laugh-cry. laugh-cry. laugh-cry. laugh-cry. laugh-cry. laugh-cry.
ask-wait-listen. ask-wait-listen. ask-wait-listen. ask-wait-listen. ask-wait-listen. ask-wait-listen.
Real, raw relationships require work and they work according to the 'formula' above.
Suffice to say, though, surprisingly, it has not always been that way in every case.
Sad, yes! Yet, profoundly true, too!
Time. To. Face. The. Facts.
"In some strange way I am not with you, I am against you. We are destined to
hold two truths. I love you and I fight you." ~ Anaïs Nin & Henry Miller
correspondence
If I were to write a letter to You , this is how it may have sound like:
I love you. I adore you.
I need you. I want you. I want you in my life. I want to be with you.
You are my inspiration. You are my muse. You are my brightly shining star.
I do not wish my actions to deter you. The very thing I am scared of is for you
to hate me. What a terrible, horrible feeling that would be!
Yes, this little gentle dance that is going on between us. It is much more
stronger than I am, actually! It is a magic. Your head spins around in reckless
motions, your heart beats faster and faster. This connection, this bond, this
click we have and share with one another is strong, very strong and it gets
ever so nicer as it has been created and made all along the way by us, via us
& only us.
You have made a massive impact on myself, on the creative side of mine and
my life in general. Would I ever be able to repay this to you?!
What do you want? What do you desire? What do you wish for? What are
you hungry for? What do you dream of? What are you craving? F*ck, I have
so much to offer to you. And it is totally pure, genuine, unselfish. I am fully
loaded; ready - to - go - like. For myself, for yourself, for ourselves.
Ask me everything and anything and then tell me about all that you feel like
sharing with me.
Because I believe it can actually really work out with us.
And, also, because, sometimes, even the words cannot even come closer to
the describing that which is inside of me. So come to me now, and I am going
to explain by showing to you and you are going to understand.......
“When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then
love has a chance to blossom.” John Gray
The one, the person, the guy, I chose to adore, adores me in more than just
one way. I know it, I can feel it. He also seems to be in a contradiction about a
few (!) of my 'skills and abilities' that could literally drive him nuts, leaving him
totally vulnerable and absolutely insane..... in the most sanely passionate
way! And this has also been introduced to me in the timing most unlikely to be
welcomed, of course.
✔ Above all else, he adores me when I am being myself. Period. Full stop.
Case closed.
✔ He wants me to go and pursue my dreams and goals and ambitions.
I expect the same of him.
✔ He needs me to be humble yet not weak.
✔ He loves when he has been understood by myself.
✔ From time to time, he likes me being insane and mad at him and crazy
about the world around myself and I fully and playfully and happily
contribute to my other role.
✔ He knows about my insecurities. I know about his. Well, at least some
of them that he has revealed to me so far.
✔ I acknowledge his secrets. He hopes I have none.
✔ I speak, he listens. And vice versa.
✔ He is there whenever I call on him. I am there whenever he calls on me.
✔ We give each other time & space spent away from each other.
✔ His reaction span is a split of a second. I cherish the millisecond.
✔ He has seen me vulnerable in front of his very own eyes.
✔ He grows in every possible way when being appreciated and cared for
by myself.
✔ We accept one another as we are.
✔ He gives me confidence when loved by him and I gain strength by
loving him.
✔ He does not wish me to see him weak. Ever.
We may yet learn to embrace this.
✔ I love opening myself to him. He craves it.
✔ It is painful the most while blissful the most simultaneously. This
something very strong between us that is.
✔ We are on the same wavelength, at least, for the most part of the time.
✔ I am definitely a better person since knowing him!!!!
✔ He loathes being in a position when he finds himself unable to offer a
helping hand to me.
✔ When at his very low, when he feels the suffering of a lack of love, that
is when he gives away his love, from his very core, from his soul, his
very best. That is how his amazing mind works. I am enchanted.
Impossible to ignore. Time to fall in love head over heals all over again.
✔ He must know he is so utterly enough to me. In my eyes he is a damn
picture of perfection.
✔ He gets jealous which turns me on, actually!
✔ I very much like his idea of a perfect woman on the face of the earth...!!!
✔ He impresses me every single each day.
✔ I honour the time we spend together, above all else.
✔ He does not know all the answers. I ought to be on the similar page.
✔ We create the two of us as time goes by and the world moves about.
Tension. No tension. Demands. No demands.
Clarity. Confusion. Confrontation. Making up. Passion. Happiness. Joy.
Peace. Admiration. Adoration. Love. Kindness. Sincerity. Appreciation.
Security. Respect. No fake promises. No lame excuses. No taxes. No delays.
Has he tried to enter into my very soul? You bet, he has!
Have I let him? You bet, I have not!
There is a sensible feeling of coming home, as if I have been here/there
before, yet it is not quite the same.
And yet the magic remains. Of all that he sees and recognizes and notices
about myself, all that could also be found within him!!
“Don’t expect me to be sane anymore.”
“I can’t see how I can go on living away from you—these intermissions
are death…Here I am back and still smouldering with passion, like wine
smoking…Not a passion any longer for flesh, but a complete hunger for
you, a devouring hunger…Anais, I only thought I loved you before; it was
nothing like this certainty that’s in me now. Was all this so wonderful only
because it was brief and stolen? Were we acting for each other, to each
other? Was I less I, or more I, and you less or more you? Is it madness
to believe that this could go on?
When and where would the drab moments begin? I study you so much to
discover the possible flaws, the weak points, the danger zones. I don’t find
them—not any. That means I am in love, blind, blind. To be blind forever!”
{Henry Miller’s hunger for Anaïs Nin}
Just between us: Nobody completes anybody. Love is rarely perfect. Only we
perfectly imperfect human beings make it so...... so perfect!
The collision of my and his world(s) together is still unfolding....... we are....
one of a kind.
Who is your harbour for your ship to come back into?
What do you adore in your partner?
Have you told them lately? Today??