Wabi Sabi

Wabi Sabi

To allow for more sex, joy and harmony in our lives, it’s time that we embrace the ancient Japanese art form known as Wabi Sabi.

Wabi Sabi honors all things old, weathered, worn, imperfect and impermanent by finding the beauty and perfection in the imperfections. For instance, if you had a large vase with a big crack down the middle of it, a Japanese art museum would put the vase on a pedestal and shine a light on the crack. Or, they might fill the crack with 24k gold. When we practice Wabi Sabi Love, we appreciate our own, and everyone else’s, imperfections.

Taking the Wabi Sabi View on Pleasure

There is now ample research proving that pleasure (and sex) not only reduces stress, it also improves our health, overall wellbeing and longevity.  So when was the last time you consciously added pleasure to your life?

The Wabi Sabi approach to pleasure doesn’t require much effort but rather small, simple actions. Begin by making a list of things that evoke pleasure in each of your senses and then promise yourself to take at least one pleasure break a day – even if it’s just making a cup of your favorite tea or stopping to literally smell the roses.

The Art of Wabi Sabi Sex

Applying Wabi Sabi to your sex life means it’s ok that you’re too tired, stressed or don’t have time – it’s about making a commitment to connecting anyway. According to relationship guru, Alison Armstrong, just because you’re not in the mood or you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, doesn’t mean you can’t make the effort to reconnect and re-ignite the energizing, and life-giving forces of sex.  Like riding a bike, you’ll quickly get back in the groove.

Be creative.

Find a new time, a new place, and a new way to initiate a connection. Even if you feel silly, awkward or strange – just go for it.

Remember this is Wabi Sabi sex.  It doesn’t have to be perfect.

And, however the lovemaking turns out, whether it’s dull and routine, or toe-curling ecstasy, choose to find the beauty and perfection in it.  Know that it’s going to be great because you’ve made the effort to give yourself and your partner some attention, affection and hopefully pleasure.

Tips on Becoming a Wabi Sabi Artisan

1) Make an effort to let them know they are loved even if some of their behavior is not.

No matter what crazy-making thing our partner is doing, they did not wake up with the thought; “I plan to drive my spouse insane today.” Just like you, your partner wants to be loved for who they are, in spite of their shortcomings. Work towards co-creative solutions.

2) It only takes one person to make a difference.

Even if your partner isn’t willing to change that doesn’t mean all is lost. By taking personal responsibility for your own happiness, and making space for your partner to be who and what they are, magic can, and often does happen. It’s when we are blaming and shaming that no progress can be made.

3) A great relationship requires care and feeding.

Find daily ways to connect and express your love and gratitude for your partner. One of our favorite things to do is a 20 second hug. To begin, join your partner in a melting hug by standing heart-to-heart, with your arms around each other and your hands placed on each other’s backs in the area near the heart.  The idea is to get as close as possible while still being comfortable. Breathe gently yet deeply, and if it feels right, add some sound effects… a few yums or sighs will enhance the experience. It’s quick, easy and fun!

When we allow ourselves to experience pleasure, we are relaxed and in the flow, and it’s a zillion times easier to access our positive emotions. By taking the time to add pleasure to your life you will be calmer, happier, and more receptive to enjoying and receiving love at every level. You will learn to accept the flaws, imperfections, and limitations – as well as the gifts and blessings – that form your shared history as a couple.

After all, imagine how great you will feel when you know your partner loves all of you, all the time? The good, the bad, and everything in between!

Lucie’s 365(6) wisdom treats/pearls/bites/tidbits!! :-) (PART Two)

Lucie’s 365(6) wisdom treats/pearls/bites/tidbits!! :-)

(PART Two)

11/12/2012: You gotta have FAITH!

12/12/2012: Lead by an Example!!!

13/12/2012: Think BIG always!!!

14/12/2012: Expect Miracles.

15/12/2012: NOBODY is PERFECT (-:

16/12/2012: Give! Give! Give! Give!

17/12/2012: What is it YOU WANT???

18/12/2012: Become a Volunteer!

19/12/2012: Find Your Purpose!!

20/12/2012: STOP talkin', START actin'!

21/12/2012: Face up your 'challenges' !!!!

22/12/2012: Be HONEST w/ YOURSELF!

23/12/2012: Drink plenty of water :-)

24/12/2012: Do not ever complain.

25/12/2012: We are unique in every way.

26/12/2012: We are all in this together.....

27/12/2012: Cheer up: This too shall pass

28/12/2012: There is always a way!

29/12/2012: The BEST is YET to come!!

30/12/2012: We need each other!!!

31/12/2012: Be well balanced!

1/1/2013: FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS!

2/1/2013: You are already Complete :-)

3/1/2013: Strive for an Excellence!!!

4/1/2013: Be Enthusiastic about Life!!

5/1/2013: Keep your eyes & ears OPEN!

6/1/2013: Practice MINDFULNESS!! (-:

7/1/2013: Eat only whole, raw & organic!!

8/1/2013: KISS: Keep It Simple, Silly :-)

9/1/2013: Do take NOthing for granted!!!

10/1/2013: Do not sweat the small stuff !!

:-) (-:

A CARROT and a STICK

A CARROT and a STICK

Have you heard of the expression: ‘A carrot and a stick’ before?

Well, you are in luck then! Learn about it more right below…..

Carrot and Stick Approach (also "carrot or stick approach") is an idiom that refers to a policy of offering a combination of rewards and punishment to induce behaviour. It is named in reference to a cart driver dangling a carrot in front of a mule and holding a stick behind it. The mule would move towards the carrot because it wants the reward of food, while also moving away from the stick behind it, since it does not want the punishment of pain, thus drawing the cart.

Supported by the fact that the mule cannot move away from the stick, and that using a carrot and a stick simultaneously is redundant, some claim that this usage of phrase is erroneous, and that it in fact comes from the figure of a carrot on a stick. In this case, the driver would tie a carrot on a string to a long stick and dangle it in front of the donkey, just out of its reach. As the donkey moved forward to get the carrot, it pulled the cart and the driver so that the carrot would always remain out of reach.

Some people need an inspiration, a person, a picture, a piece of music, art, a portrait, maybe even a certain kind of food, or a smell, a reminder, an experience to bring them back to more creative and productive state. That is nice and good for you, so it is – a carrot!

Then, there are people who need a stick! Big, fat and very, very hard stick for.... ah well,... you know what! So when you actually tell them, give them a deadline, that this or that MUST be finished by the certain date - then guess what happens? They may leave it to the very last minute, go partying and drinking all night long but still turn in and on time with the assignment in hand and perfectly done and finished. 

What works for you??

Thank you for your time reading my blog post!! J

Being in the ‘ZONE’

Being in the ‘ZONE’

“The zone is a state of mind which is marked by a sense of calmness. In addition, there is a heightened sense of awareness and focus. Actions seem effortless and there is an increased belief that your dreams or goals can become achievable and real. In addition, there is also a sense of deep enjoyment when the person is in this unique, special and magical state of being.”

Have you ever experienced a feeling when you were totally immersed, completely wrapped up at the task at hand that the time just flew by, passed by without you even noticing it as if the time stood still?

What were you doing at that time?

How were you feeling at that time?

Did you enjoy yourself at that time?

Being in the zone, in the flow, in a grove, on a roll, in the moment, etc. etc.

Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does. Proposed by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, the positive psychology concept has been widely referenced across a variety of fields.

According to Csikszentmihalyi, flow is completely focused motivation. It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate experience in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning. In flow, the emotions are not just contained and hannelled, but positive, energized, and aligned with the task at hand. To be caught in the ennui of depression or the agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task although flow is also described (below) as a deep focus on nothing but the activity – not even oneself or one’s emotions.

Buzz terms for this or similar mental states include: to be in the moment, present, in the zone, on a roll, wired in, in the groove, on fire, in tune, centered, or singularly focused.

I wish you many and many more flow experiences to come and follow… J

THE SERENITY PRAYER

THE SERENITY PRAYER

‘Lord, grant me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.’

It is pretty straight forward, is it not?

The circle of Life is pretty much like that. 

You have to come home!! 

You yourself are the only person who can tell you the difference. 

You feel it, you sense it, you experience it, you see it, you view it, you act on it, you react to it, you challenge it, you love it J

enJOY the JOurneY

I wish that you can see and know the difference!! J

I love him so much that I let him go.

10 Things You Need to Stop Doing Today to be Happier.

We tend to be unconscious of behaviours that are causing pain and unnecessary suffering in our lives.

If we could just become more conscious of behaviours that are leading to the pain in our lives, we would be a lot happier. Today we can start giving up some of the things in our life that are causing this conflict.

1. Stop complaining

Don’t find fault, find a remedy; anybody can complain.
~ Henry Ford

Nobody wants to be around someone who complains all the time. Yet we all do it. Instead of finding a reason to complain, look for the solution if your facing a problem. Look for something positive in your life. There’s always something positive to find in our life if we shift our focus.

2. Stop Judging

We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.
~ Paulo Coelho

Stop judging other peoples lives and focus on perfecting your own life. We spend so much time gossiping rather than working on perfecting ourselves. Focus on your own life, and how your going to perfect it.

 3. Stop avoiding your fear.

Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.
~ Rumi

Fear is an obnoxious thing—it slows you down from finding a career you love, a romantic relationship, and pursing your dreams. Do something that makes you uncomfortable every day, in small steps, and it will dramatically alter the course of your life.

4. Stop being so hard on yourself

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.
~ African Proverb

The biggest enemy that you face is the one inside you—this enemy criticizes, condemns, and complains. Don’t let these unconscious patterns run your life.

Come to terms with these patterns, the biggest enemy you ever have to face in the one inside of you.

5. Stop being negative

Misery loves company.
~ Anonymous

If you focus on being negative it’s going to show up everywhere in your life. It will show up in your work, relations and everything else. Shift your focus away from being so negative all the time. Find things that make you come alive!

6. Stop caring about what other people think of you

Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.
~ Lao Tzu

Every great artist, musician, political leader, ignored what people thought of them. Other people’s opinions of you, are none of your business. What people think of you should not drown out your own inner voice and inspirations.

7. Stop worrying about the small stuff

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.
~ Winston Churchil

Think about all the unnecessary worries that go through your mind all day. We worry about why someone is not returning our emails, texts, phone calls. We worry about everything and everything.

Focus on what you can do at the present moment and not about how you can worry about the outcome.

8. Stop needing to be right all the time

The need to be right all the time is the biggest bar to new ideas. It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong than to be always right by having no ideas at all.
~ Edward De Bono

Stop needing to be right all the time, this can lead to so many unnecessary arguments. Instead of needing to be right, start working on being more open to other peoples opinion’s. Start asking more questions and become more interested in other people’s points of view. It may open a whole new dimension of life.

9. Stop blaming others

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.
~ George Bernard Shaw

We constantly blame everyone for all types of different things. Quit blaming other people for your circumstances. If you want to change something go out and do it! Don’t blame someone for your present day situations.

10. Stop living in the past or the future

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.
~ Henry David Thoreau

So much of our attention is on past experiences or on how we will be in the future. Focus your mind on the present moment. We would be so much happier if we placed our attention on the present.

Looking for a LOVE in all the right (and wrong) places!!!

Looking for a LOVE in all the right (and wrong) places!!!

"Looking for love, in all the wrong places / Looking for love, in too many faces..."

— Johnny Lee, "Looking For Love"

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

~ Rumi

·        Are you currently madly in love?

·        Are you married?

·        Are you in a relationship?

·        Are you single?

·        Are you dating?

·        Are you widowed?

·        Are you divorced?

·        Are you separated?

·        Are you lonely?

·        Are you looking for love?

What exactly are you looking for?

Ø Is it a friendship?

Ø Is it a love?

Ø Is it a companionship?

Ø Is it a mentor, teacher, role model, coach?

Ø How do you know when you have found it?

Ø Are you ready for the sort of relationship you are longing for?

Ø Are you yourself being the very person you are looking for?

Ø Are you hoping for someone to complete your life?

Ø Are you already complete?

Ø Are you waiting for someone to ‘complete’ you?

Love, love, love is all around us.

Love moves the world around.

Love is everything and means so much. Without love, we would perish. We are pure love. We were born out of love. Our energy is that of love. Love is what each of us is made of. It makes our heads spin around. Being in love is effortless, however, being married is a work of working on, effort, patience.

Person affected by love can turn into a genius.

ü Are you online dating?

ü Are you going out on dates?

ü Are you going out and meeting people?

ü Are you making new friends?

ü Are you going to new places?

ü Are you surrounded by married people or single ones?

ü Have you told others you are out there looking for love?

ü What is your attitude toward love??

ü Have you been still searching new ways and approaches about your quest for love??

ü Have you made your list of qualities you are looking for in your soul mate, a mate from heaven? What are the characteristic traits you would rather pass on?

ü Have you been visualizing, meditating, praying, imagining, feeling, believing, mental picturing?

ü Have you been grateful for everything that you already possess?

Follow your heart. Where your heart leads, your whole personality will follow.

How do you go about looking for love??

Hugs & love to you all

When ENOUGH is ENOUGH

When ENOUGH is ENOUGH

So far so good OR enough is enough??

Have you ever gotten to the point when you never wanted to feel ever again as you felt at that very moment?

What was the cause?

What was the tipping point?

When did it feel enough?

How did it feel inside of you?

How did you feel?

What was the burning desire to stop it?

When was the ‘right’ time to finish it off?

When you wanted to take it off of your mind?

Did you want it to finally tick it done off your list?

What made you make a decision to start the way you always wanted?

In regards to people?

In regards to places?

In regards to your circumstances?

In regards to your work?

In regards to your relationships?

In regards to your family?

To keep ourselves calm, cool and collected is very, very important. However, it cannot be achieved unless we are true to ourselves. When we do work, we do not enjoy, when we live and cohabitate with person we have not real connection with, when we live in the house, neighbourhood, city, country, we do not value enough, we do not find attractive enough, we cannot possibly be happy.

I cannot take it any more!!!

Have you said it before to yourself?

There is a difference between giving up, and knowing when you have had enough.

When you get to the point when ENOUGH is ENOUGH, all you have got to do is celebrate!! 

People may be afraid of facing situations like these, but those are the very lessons we should be most grateful for. People are either driven by desperation or by an inspiration. That only tells us that we are moving in the right direction. We are growing, we are developing, we are improving, we are learning. We do need to have a meaning, a purpose to strive for and to achieve. We need to take an action, we need to move on, whatever way it happens to be in.

What you send out, comes back to you!

Are you settling for less than you can be, have and do?

Or

Are you fighting for the better life, better smile, better environment, better circumstances for yourself and for the ones around you?

I really wish for you to realize that as soon as possible!!! :=)

Good Luck!